Last night ended in a bit of farce really – hit the shisha pipe a bit too hard and I was wheezing and coughing all through The Amazing Ali’s magic set. The room was whirling all around me and I ended up sort of getting up to leave, feeling quite light-headed & collapsing sort of sprawled over the front of the stage. I can't tell you if he was any good.
Soon perked up this morning though when I put on my best Hawian shirt. I was saving it for the Hotel Disco they’ve got advertised but I needed a pick-me-up.
Sixty-seven missed calls on my phone when I woke up!
Thought we’d try some retail therapy. No sooner had we hit the Souk though & there were a crowd of natives around me pointing and whispering to each other ‘Diagnosis Murder, Diagnosis Murder’! Its him its him’ I felt well harassed!
Anyway I fought through the mob & found some right good stuff for Little Pete & Big Pete off the stalls.
I had Little Pete on the phone last night telling me about the game in Brighton, apparently the bus broke down on the way, he sounded a bit down about it all so I cheered him up with my ‘Harry Enfield scouser impression’. He loves that. ‘Calm down Calm down’ I said haha! Got him this little wooden frog with a stick in its mouth – when you rub the stick down the frog’s back it makes a realistic ribbet! It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen! Truly this is a forward thinking place, the techies paradise - Keith would love it here with his wee-fee and whatnot!
We went past the fish Souk too – smelt like the Barbican!
Settled on a t-shirt for Big Pete, It says ‘My mate went to Dubai & all I got was this lousy T Shirt’ in big letters on the front. He’s always banging on about all the holidays he’s been on, making me watch his bloody slide shows on his projector, regaling me with his crazy stories from Bangkok, Baghdad, Bognor or anywhere else you care to mention! So I thought I’d rub it in a little.
The missus keeps taking the rise out of my pasty legs now I’ve put my shorts on – ‘like alabaster twiglets’ she said – the nerve! She’s proved a tenacious haggler at the Souk though – thinking of bringing her in the boardroom next time we’re negotiating a player’s new contract, she‘d drive those thieving swines down!
Picked her out a gorgeous Burka, can’t wait to see her face when I give it to her, reckon it'll go down a treat at the China Fleet Club Christmas dinner.
Went down the beach in the afternoon – no sign of any bugger selling those round doughnuts you usually get at the seaside and we must have marched up and down that bloody beach 2 hours looking for a round of crazy golf.
Looking out over the dunes got me reminiscing about those long walks I used to take with Paul out at Wembury, then a passing Camel made a terrible honking sound, gobbing everywhere and I snapped out of it, not sure how long I’d been gone. Southend is probably a lot like this I imagine.
Bloody Camel herder had to come up and ask me for my autograph didn’t he?! ‘Dick, Dick I love Diagnosis Murder’ he said, I was getting well perplexed by now - funny people this lot - bit like the Cornish with their swarthy complexions and their love of spicy food.
I’ll post again later but the missus is insisting we go back out and hit the town - there’s a great sisha bar nearby apparently - something like Al-Jesters or similar, hope it’s a decent crowd and I don’t get mobbed as soon as I get out of the hotel foyer again.
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