Sympathy for the Devil? TUNE!
What a night, the music, the lights, the glamour - I finally felt like I belong!
There I was strutting my stuff like Mick himself in his pomp to ‘Under my Thumb’ by the Rolling Stones when out of the corner of my eye I spotted the most gorgeous little red-head dancing close to a wealthy Arab Sheikh. Then at the bar I had the great pleasure to meet the lovely lady. Looking into her eyes there was real chemistry, an unfathomable spark of recognition, as if we’d met in a previous life. She introduced herself as we waited to be served, ’Well hi there hunni’ she said in the cutesiest accent I’ve ever heard. ’ I like your moustache. I’m Joy-geena Slyman from New Yoik.Why doncha come dance with me? .I’m lookin’ for a Shuga daddy with oooh say five hundert K in the bank.’ Well flattered as I was I’m an honourable man and I turned her down flat…next thing I know the missus is over in a flash and she’s decked Ms Slyman with a sweet left cross, and as she’s tumbled over her hair has slipped right off her head - a wig!!!
The bouncers were in like a shot - ‘So sorry Mr. Van Dyke, we’ll have her removed right away’ they said dragging the New Yorker away to the exit.
They even put some Pink Floyd on - the son in laws got me well into them recently - we put ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ on while we do the jigsaw, how does that line go; 'New car, caviar, four star daydream, Think I'll buy me a football team', amazing stuff.
We were introduced to the Sheikh Mohammed the ruler of Dubai- who I mistook for Eric Cantona, he’s a big football fan though so he found it hilarious. He was mightily impressed when I told him how I’d single-handedly guided a small provincial club to glory - in many ways a parallel of the rise of Dubai from a small fishing village to a gleaming metropolis. He even offered to send some Bengalese lads over to help with the imminent phase 2 of Home Park when they've finished his latest skyscraper.
Woke up this morning on the beach with no shoes on - no idea where they’ve gone.
So I’m on the plane now reflecting on a fantastic week, hope you haven’t been missing me too much. Don’t worry though, I’m uploading all the holiday snaps now - all 570. I’ll get on the line to the lads from Greens on Screen to put them on there so everyone can enjoy them.
Wish I hadn’t booked to come back today now but Little Pete said ‘We’re playing Wednedsay’ I thought he meant on Wednesday, not bloody Sheffield Wednesday. – I’m not going to bloody Sheffield so soon after being in Dubai, what a come-down that would be!
Above; Next stop Sheffield
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