Bit worried about getting in though – my sources are telling me that there’s going to be a crowd of adoring Janners gathered to welcome me home when I arrive there, putting palm fronds down at the main gates and such like. Got myself down Cohen’s Magic and Joke Shop for a disguise, found these really realistic false glasses and nose – genius! I look a bit like Groucho Marx when I put them on. Got some stink bombs too –I’ll send some to Runaway Roy’s offices, he won’t be expecting that!
They don’t half drag these meetings though – all the lads asking me really difficult questions about money, even harder than the questions on 15 to 1!
In the end we usually order a dominos pizza & Keith gets Connect Four out for us to play to relieve the boredom. It usually just ends up with us asking Old Rob Doddery & the jolly looking one (Trevor I think) to look in their pockets for any loose change. Sometimes we even go over and have a game of ‘heads & vols’ in the ground – you see we’re not stuffy at all.
Been pottering round the house today – withdrawl symptoms hitting hard. Been ringing round some building merchants to see how much it would cost to have the gardens covered with sand, sculpt a few dunes. Then I could get a nifty little '2 manner' from Milletts and live at the bottom of the garden like the bedouins. Just been moping from room to room. Nearly put my back out pushing the front door open when we got home. There was a great big avalanche of letters with stuff like URGENT stamped on them in red. I just crammed them all in my Manyana drawer as I call it.
Anyway, if your coming down to welcome me back tomorrow bring your autograph books I've been practicing my signiture in Arabic - بول ابن ستابلتون - that'll be a collector's item for you!!
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